I am fascinated by people.
I think that’s why I am entertained by watching people in any environment.
What they say and how they say it is entertaining.
What they do and how they do it is revealing.

I’ve learned that it is not what happens or doesn’t happen to us that matters.
It is what we make it mean.
Yes, what WE make it mean.

It used to annoy me when my husband responded pretty much the same way to anything that I wanted to believe was a catastrophe:

“It’s no big deal.”

How rude of him, right?
No.
How smart of him to set me straight.
Nothing is a big deal until I decide it is.

So when I forget to buy the one thing I went to the store to get,  I think about my husband’s response.
No big deal.
My response?
What is wrong with me? I can’t do anything right. I can’t get it together, etc.

Wait.
Let me try this again.
I forgot to buy the one thing I went to the store to get.
What am I making that mean?

Aha!
It’s no big deal.
My husband is right.
I can decide to agree with him or not, it is up to me.

We can all benefit from asking ourselves what we are making things mean before jumping to conclusions about ourselves or others. While refeeding an anorexic child at home and encountering resistance, what do we make that mean?

We can decide our anorexic teen is refusing to eat because we aren’t feeding her right; we don’t know what to do; we can’t handle it anymore; or it is hopeless.

We can also decide that she is refusing to eat because anorexia is making her afraid to eat; we know what to do; we can handle it,; and we can show up as strong, capable, and confident parents to help her overcome the eating disorder.

It is as big of a deal as we choose to make it.
Is there another way that you can look at the circumstances of your life as the parent of an anorexic teen?
How would changing what you are making your daughter’s anorexic behavior mean change how you feel?
How would feeling better change the way you are able to parent your daughter during her recovery?
If you would like to learn more about how to manage what you make things mean so that you are better able to manage your daughter’s anorexia, contact me at jenni@peacemealcoach.com for a free 20-minute mini coaching session.