Can you recall a time when you were absolutely terrified? What did it feel like?
Imagine feeling like that 6 times a day, every single time you had to eat. That is what it is like for your anorexic daughter.

Her heart is beating rapidly; she’s sweating; her throat is tight and dry.

She is absolutely terrified. 

As parents, what do we do?

When your daughter resists eating, STOP. Take a deep breath. Reassess. What looks like hostility, defiance, anger, and disrespect from your anorexic daughter is FEAR. Fear at the level of TERROR.

The reason she won’t eat is that she is terrified to eat.  The anorexia makes eating impossible for her.
The good news is that parents can make it possible.
How?
Acknowledge that what we are asking her to do—eat, is not as easy as it sounds. To her, it feels like the most impossible thing to do is to pick up her fork and allow herself to eat. To us, it feels like the most impossible thing to do is to endure her agony. We know that we must get her to eat, but we also know it causes her pain. If we are asking her to face this, then we must face it too.

It would feel so much better (for us and for our daughter) to not have to confront the eating disorder.
It would be so much easier for us to not stir up turmoil with every bite. It would be so much easier to let her give into the demands of the anorexia and keep starving. But if we do what feels easier to us in the moment, we are giving anorexia the power to continue terrorizing our daughter, and to possibly take her life.

So, we find the courage to allow our fear.
We experience discomfort.
We do what we need to do.
We feed her.
We feed her so that she can find the courage to do what she needs to do–eat.

If you are interested in developing skills to help you get your anorexic daughter to eat, please contact me at jenni@peacemealcoach.com for a free 20-minute mini coaching session.