No two families experience an eating disorder in the same way. Some of us have kids who are fully recovered. Some of us consider ourselves on the scenic route because we’ve been working a long time to help our kids, and they aren’t yet recovered. Some of us have kids who have lost their lives to eating disorders. Some of us believe in using whatever leverage we have to force our loved ones to comply to treatment. Some of us have decided it’s too risky to push it.
It’s important to hold space for all of the possibilities because our journeys will all be different.
Important Questions To Ask
- How do we hold space for all of the possibilities?
- How can we be more sensitive to the fact that what could be useful for one parent may be triggering for another?
- How can we allow for each parent to have their own journey without judgment?
With eating disorders there is no straight line. There is no agreed upon one-size-fits-all treatment. Most importantly, there is no right or wrong way to parent. I’ve learned that my experience is my experience. I can share it with other parents in case what our family went through is helpful. I can provide resources to help parents learn as much as possible about eating disorders. But, one of the best things I can do is to stand beside them as they figure out what is best for themselves and their families.
Our journeys will all be different, and all of us can support each other whether our experiences and opinions match or not.
Being the parent of a child with an eating disorder is an unexpectedly challenging experience. Each of us arrives at the experience with different cultures, backgrounds, treatment systems, resources and beliefs. May we all tread lightly, be open to each other, suspend judgment, and keep going one step at a time on our unique paths. We all want to arrive at a more peaceful place, and we can do that even when, at first glance, it appears we may be heading off in different directions.
